the post christmas.

It's the post christmas season. The great in between days where we all soak in the merriment, clean up the yule, and savor the last bits of breakage. In my case I got the sniffliest of sniffle colds and have been spending the past few days draining my nose and missing PG. He's in Switzerland with his papa enjoying an epic father son adventure. I got a call from him yesterday (!!!!) and it sounds like they are having an awesome time skiing the matterhorn. There's no internet so sadly I get no Phil e-letters this trip (they are treasures) but the call was worth a million bucks. 

Speaking of a million bucks...I need a job. NOW. I'm not returning to el Tejas for grad school for many reasons (yes one of them is matrimony...I didn't think I'd find my hubby mid-grad school... and Phil would have waited for the sky to fall and me to finish but that wasn't the right choice for us. We both had strong feelings that now is the time and we couldn't ignore that, nor did we want to.  As for school there were things I loved...ie my voice teacher, the progress I was making vocally, the performance opportunities...and there were other feelings which motivated a change... do I really want this career with the time the hours the stress the travel? I love to sing but that will always be with me whether it be professionally or personally...the I feel like I just did this all for four years already feelingish feeling... and so on.) annnd so after much prayer deliberation consideration meditation and sweet support from PG towards either conclusion, I'm staying in the lovely land of California for the semester to save money and prepare myself for a life with my sweetheart. Change can be a scary thing BUT if it's the right thing it can be incredibly liberating. You have to find the right path for YOU. For anything I've given up I feel like I've gained the world and my heart's true wants and dreams. Peaceful. I get to spend precious time with my family and miss PG every minute (don't worry there are visits in the works. starting with jan 5-12!) until we tie the knot. And now I need to be employed. BADLY. The real world is expensive I hear. I need to get with it. Car payments, health payments, bills, oh my!

As for the wedding planning. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! It's going to be fun it's going to be magical and it's also going to be a lot of work. Luckily I have a lot of mommas and sisters in this town to help and Phil told me he's already practiced saying "yes I agree!" "that looks beautiful" "they're both my favorite!" He's a keeper.

My post christmas is turning out to be a busy one but a fantabulous one all the same! Here's to new adventures in the New year!

ENGAGEMENT

On December 23rd 2008 Phil proposed to me and I said YES!  I'm walking on air.  I couldn't have dreamed up a more wonderful man, a more perfect companion. Patient, strong, loving, righteous, intelligent, and absolutely hilarious. He's my meant-to-be-man and I'm so glad we found each other at this time of life.

here's how it happened...

So that Tuesday Phil told me his bro in law Jeff had an errand for us to run in the city. He wanted us to go to the city and pick up 2 chairs at Macy's for Phil's sister Paige. Totally believable. We figured we could fund a dinner in the city through the errand and have a nice night before hauling the chairs back.

As we drove towards SF I was getting increasingly more hungry. I begged Phil to stop in Berkeley so we could go to this great burrito place before we headed over the bridge. "We can do better than that." he said... so I waited.

We drove into the beautiful city which just sparkles like magic at night.  We found parking in Union Square and headed through Macy's. Phil suggested we take some time to just hang around the square as the chairs didn't have to be picked up until 10. "There's a Christmas tree in the square ya know!" I said. "Really?!" Phil replied. (I thought to myself... "Umm how long have you lived here again?") So I walked my apparently ignorant-about-the-city boyfriend up to the giant christmas tree for picture taking (he knew he knew).  

After a couple pictures in the busy plaza Phil said something I thought He'd never say..."Do you want to go ice skating?" Phil? Ice skating??! Let me tell you a little something about Phil. He don't skate. Roller skate...ice skate...nothing.  No skating for Phil. When we took some of his niece-nephs to a local rink he spent the afternoon on the bench taking pictures. So what had gotten into him? I figured it was the Christmas spirit and the hard time I and everyone else had been giving him. 

We got in line. It was a long one and remember I was still hungry... One of the rink workers came over to let us know our portion of the line would most likely be in the 8:00 session. It was 6:20 or so and we really wanted to skate the session out before dinner.  Phil told me to hold on and he would go see how long the line really was. He came back a few minutes later and told me to come with him. He walked me up to the front of the line to a couple about our age. "This is Nicole and Anthony," he said introducing me. They were nice and all smiles (friends from Athenian? I couldn't place them) we cut into line and Phil whispered to me "They're not really my friends, they're just letting us in." WHAT?! Many thoughts ran through my mind... is he proposing tonight? did he beg them...No no I don't think that's it... It's Phil... he's both pushy and sneaky... Did he tell them I have cancer or something? Did he just boss his way to the top?! I wouldn't put it past him...

We made it into the session and even got our skates for free! We had about 40 minutes to skate. As we laced up our shoes Phil looked nervous (even looking back I'm positive he was nervous about skating and not about any other thing). I held his hand as we walked out onto the ice. He was pretty...bad. Yep pretty really not good at skating. Not his sport. It was adorable and we had some good laughs as we "skate-walked" around. 

Then conversation got lovey. Not at all unusual. Phil likes to tell me lists of things he loves about me and watch me get shy and dreamy. (sorry for the sap. It's an engagement story!) So after some sweet words he said he was getting dizzy. Also not very unusual. He has what I would call quite the sensitive stomach. (many a barf story) We decided to take a little break for his stomach's sake and waddled over to the rink wall. There was some kissing kissing kissing and talking and then some little girls started to push by us as they held onto the railing. 

Phil had pretty much kept on his feet for the whole skate-sperience until one of the little people knocked him and HE FELL! 

BUT... he fell onto one knee! He told me some beautiful and special things and holding a ring in his hand asked me if I would please marry him. YES! and with the yes and the ring on my finger we were in each others arms kissing and me crying and both of us staring at each other with the biggest smiles we could make. A couple came by and hugged Phil and congratulated us. We spent the night in complete bliss-land. 

We went out to dinner and ordered the same thing (so we can go back and get it yearly) at La Scala in the Sir Francis Drake Hotel. Beautiful and delicious. Phil wanted to tell everyone we came into contact with the great news. We were both in heaven and I finally got to satisfy my burning appetite! 

We drove back home to tell our families which was so wonderful. Then we stopped by a couple friend's homes to share in the excitement. We've spent the last couple days with family enjoying Christmas as an engaged couple. It's amazing. It's amazing because he's the right person at the right time and everything feels peaceful and wonderful and... ROMANTICAL (should be a word). I'm so so much in love with Phil and as a bonus I'm so in love with his family and my family couldn't be more in love with him. We are lucky lucky people. I just keep looking at him and saying "my fiance." amazing. I can't wait to start a new life adventure with him and to be by his side forever. I wouldn't pick any other side to be by.

roll the pictures!

 my fiance! 

 In front of La Scala after dinner. Full, happy, completely in love.

 true love's kiss! right after we left the ice, soaking in our engaged-ness.

My engagement ring belonged to PG's great grandmother given to her by his namesake Philip.

It's so special and such an honor to have and to wear.

 Here's the rink where we got engaged! Such a beautiful night in our beautiful city. The proposal happened near the far right side of the picture.

money burning time.

Today is Christmas shopping day... I love gifting and I plan on being completely broke by nightfall. HOORAH!

home for the holidays.

I have one. count 'em one final between me and holiday cheer 2008.  I'll be back on Friday the 19th making it a grand total of 5 DAYS until home sweet Christmassy home.

I LOVE me some Christmas. It's also my birthday and this year makes 23 candles for Aubrey. 23... kind of freaks me out. In my childhood mind I had some idea that I'd have everything figured out by the ripe old age of 22. What was I thinking?! I guess 22 looks pretty old at 10. In 23 years I've learned that if life is going the right direction it's hardly on your terms and the road leads to the unknown. I'm looking forward to my super chocolate raspberry Christmabirthday cake, why have anything figured out when such a treat is waiting for you every year? 

S0 what am I doing with my spare time? NOT studying...I really do need to get a handle on that. Mainly packing (I get antsy), cleaning, nail polishing (hot pink, I like that it's not at all a Christmas color and won't match anything wintery I wear), dining out with Lynds (Phil always asks "How many times do you go out to lunch a week?" ... "well silly I'm from Danville...and I'm tiny. I have to keep my stomach full... soooo the answer is too much") and Christmas present plotting. I've also been taking advantage of our incredible gym on campus with some serious working out followed by aching for a day or two before mustering up the courage to go back.

...but let's face it, my mind is in total "get me out of here" mode. It just won't seem like Christmas until I'm back in my foggy little wonderland waiting for people to leave cookies on the doorstep, or sitting staring at the tree glowing in the dark living room (one of my favorite things to do). Christmas really seems like magic at home, like anything can happen.  Maybe it's all the left over childhood feelings that live at home... I'm not sure.

Christmas is bound to be beautiful... and busy. First of all because I ONLY HAVE FIVE DAYS WITH PHIL before the well-loved child goes with his Dad to Switzerland for a week. He's sure to have the time of his snowboarding life and not to worry, I'll beg for a present... AND the week following I'm spending 7 days in Utahland with him! Absolute bliss giddy giddy bliss bliss!! (I know, we still think it's weird too. How did this happen?!)  Second reason for busyness is HOLIDAY SINGING. I love performing at home so it'll be a blast. Let's hope I don't get sick or hurt my voice talking to Phil 'til all hours because I love love LOVE holiday singing.

SO. basically I'm going to be an incredibly busy bee. And I still have SOOOOOOOO much Christmas shopping to do! and I have to turn 23! and I have to enjoy copious amounts of sugar! and I have to make Christmas wishes! and I have to see friendies! and I have to remember the true meaning of Christmas time! ...maybe I should just skip the final? Believe me I've considered it. The class is easy peasy and I don't think my grade would really change much. Alas my competitive streak does not allow me to do so. So here I am, staring at those five squares on the calendar between me and CHRISTMAS.

1986: THE YEAR OF THE BABE

(this post is dedicated to Olivia Joan (as in the arc) Mayer Custodio, James Mayagoitia, and the rest of the CMU voice class of 2008.)

I've watched some deep movies, seen some abstract art, read a thick book or two... but not many things perplex and fascinate me as much as David Bowie in riding chaps donning a lioness-worthy hair-do and eyeliner.  In college my friends and I learned all the words to Dance Magic Dance of Labyrinth fame. I'm still not really sure why we did it... but the song now holds a special place in my heart.

The Labyrinth (If I was a linguistics specialist I would write a whole chapter about what kind of imbecile decided to make the word Labyrinth instead of "laberinth"... trips me up every time) was released in 1986.  The year 1986 also gave birth to the song rock me amadeus, Paul Simon's Graceland, the nuclear disaster at Chernobyl, Ferris Bueller's day off, Stephen King's "it", the Challenger explosion, the Cosby Show topping TV charts... and the birth of the Phil....banner year?

I'm not sure what the Labyrinth says about 1986 or what 1986 would say about the Labyrinth (it might reject it like a mother bear would a sickly cub) but one thing's for sure...it's the darn'd weirdest movie of all time (David Bowie is magic, steals this girl's baby brother, takes him into a maze, throws him around with some gremlins then meets girl-trying-to-save-baby-brother and dances romantically with her at a ball... is no one concerned with the grand age difference?! somehow they get back home...I don't even know...) 

Dance Magic Dance has GOT to be the highlight of the strange-ocity.  It leaves me with a lot of questions:

1. why the hair? why?! is it real? is it a weave?

2. why the riding pants boots and whip?

3. why the angsty opening bowie-on-throne tableau?

4. why the line "slap that baby make him free?" someone call the child abuse hotline.

5. why is bowie's face so spooky? drugs?

6. why does the bowie have such slender and feminine legs?

7. how did they make the baby cry on the movie set? (this always bothers me. do movie people scare babies to tears for movie purposes?)

8. are the bowie's prancing moves choreographed or freestyle?

9. why the random chicken amidst all of the creepy puppets?

10. why is the song SO STINKIN CATCHY?!

David Bowie I love you. You are my favorite circus sideshow... right after Tyra.

Well the weather outside is frightful!

Yesterday I was a total house hermit. After going to the gym and devouring a yummy California Club (is it strange that wherever I go I seek out "California" on the menu? Its a sure way to get bacon avocado or artichoke glee) I settled into mi casa to drill all of the music for my juries (feel free to pray for my ever-loving soul...jury's tomorrow). Little did I know the Christmassy magic that was brewing outside. Lyndsey called in hopes we could rescue each other from our studies. I hopped into a toasty warm shower and started to get ready for the night. 

Then what to my wondering eyes should appear but a text from lyndsey that said: "did you see the snow?! look out ur window!!" I thought to myself "this is houston...is this some metaphor I don't understand?" I crept over to the window pulled up the shutters and BAM! SNOW! 

Real live snow falling from the sky! It was falling on the bamboo plants and the banana tree and the window pane!! I thought It would only snow for an hour or so... you know some fleeting miracle that I'd later be mad I didn't take pictures of... but I was wrong! 

It was definitely something to celebrate. We went out to dinner (fantastic Italian food... veal piccata is my homeboy) and then frolicked to our little hearts content in the white Christmas weather that was coming down in a flurry. I mean it was real snow, not the wimpy kind that can be classified more as rain with an edge. It was the good stuff, showering down from the sky, glittering in the Christmas lights, beautiful white flakes of snow!!!

Lyndsey's landlord said he had only seen snow three times in the H-town. Can anyone even believe my life?! Isn't it hilarious? Hurricanes, floods, snow flurries, and those are only the natural wonders I've witnessed. Life is amazing. let it snow! 

 look Mom! It's snowing!

 Lynds and I bundled in the car. Wishing I had proper snow clothes with me.

 Snowflakes that land on your nose and eyelashes!

 at the park for some frolicking

pure joy for all of the snow

what a wonderful night!

"always a sheep never a shepherd"

Isn't this the most lovely thing you've ever seen?

Feel free to  pick out your own "thats me!" heavenly host person. I myself like to dream about singing from the heavens when Jesus was born.

for some heart warming watch here or read here.

For Some Christma-kvetching...read on.

In my sunday school days the Christmas Show was a seriously BIG DEAL. Every kid got a part and a costume.  We were all giggles, name calling, and menacing until we were peeled from our goof-off-itude and herded to the stage to take part in a musical magical depiction of the nativity. 

The sheep were played by toddlers and baby crawlers alike. The shepherds were usually boys, maybe with a girl or two thrown into the bath robed bunch. Angels were the cute little six or seven year olds in sparkly dresses. The coveted Three Kings roles (coveted because they got jewels and crowns) went most likely to three undeserving delinquents who for the rest of the year drew cartoons of their classmates and talked during lessons (Phil were you a three-kinger?) The donkey was played traditionally by two more tweedle dees; one the donkeys head and the other the donkeys name sake. You can see these young men left a lasting impression of obedience and maturity in my memory... and it's ok most of them have sort of grown out of it maybe....The baby Jesus was played by a plastic doll (most real babies aren't as well behaved as baby Jesus). Mary and Joseph were always darn'd cute kids who didn't "like like" each other... "they swear." 

Well I LOVED loved loved the Christmas show. I sang the little drummer boy once (I guess that would be my first pants-role opera friends) and I was also an angel... I don't recall my other roles but I will tell you one thing... I. WAS. NEVER. MARY.

Not that I'm bitter or anything (bitter bitter bitter!) I just dreamed of being Mary possibly with some slightly older wardie hunk as Joseph to protect me from all of the "no room in the inn" business. (who did I think was hunkish? I don't even remember...) I wanted the blue head dress, I wanted to hold the baby, I wanted to be the ingenue... really has much changed? To add to the desire my own parents got to dress up as Mary and Joseph for all the church kiddies when my mom was pregnant with me (and yes I was born on Christmas. I know. So cool)... So why wouldn't I, a Christmababy myself, make the cut?

Well it's taken me years to grasp why I didn't land the Mary spot...

drum roll please. I left my little drummer boy drum at home...

Twas because...I had an OFFENSIVELY awkward awkward stage.

When you think Mary you think lovely, serene, FERTILE. I was scrawny pre-pubescent, over-bitten, and freckle faced...

Well... I've come to terms in some ways...and grown into myself at least a little bit. I actually played a Mary of sorts last year in my friend's play at CMU. I guess I can say I've at least partially lived the dream and come a sort of full circle. Still my TRUE dream lives on...front and center on that little stage overlooking all of my fans on the basketball court eating costco lasagna...a girl. can. dream.

bless us all.

If you weren't already aware of my unhealthy 

obsession with the muppets...

it's fairly close to clinical. 

I pretty much have a crush on Kermit the Frog.  

To make it worse the muppet mania 

gets crazy around the holidays with Muppet Christmas Carol. 

Muppet Christmas Carol is one of the best movies of all

time: christmas, muppets, musical theater,

jolly ghosts, legitimate actors talking 

to fuzzy puppets, fake snow... THE BEST. I feel like Charles 

Dickens himself would at least get a kick out of it.

Here's one of my fave songs from the movie...

I love the lyrics... warm, true, 

and Christmassy. 

It's kind of my Christmas theme 

song. I'd perform it but I don't think I can pull

it off as well as

a cute crippled frog with crutches.

p.s. If you have a problem with the amount of times I said

Christmas or Muppets, its awful and I'm sorry.

Over-repeating words is a pet peeve of mine...I'm just too tired

to fuss. Watch the vid and give me some grammatical mercy

this holiday season.

TURKEY TIMES O8

Thanksgiving was fantastic. It was exactly what I needed. HOoray!

Phil picked me up at the airport and we were nearly inseparable for the rest of the week. 

We took some of his niece-nephs ice skating (my nanny bunch) on wednesday which was hilarious...lots of falling and almost no crying...so much laughing, skating, and even candy sharing...it was a great success. EXCEPT. Did I forget to mention Phil doesn't ice skate?! I think I deserve extra credit for doing essentially everything while he sat relaxed on a bench snapping photos. To give him credit he really did help with all of the shoe skate business and lay down the law a couple times which is always appreciated.  The kids were in shock when it came to Uncle Phil and The Sitter Aubrey dating.  Talk about worlds colliding. Every time we would smile at each other or hold hands they'd all start squealing "you're in love you're in love!!" hilarious.

Bea learning to skate!

I spent Thanksgiving at my Grandparents house. I am absolutely obsessed with my family and it was so nice to see so many famembers all at once.  We put up ornaments on the tree and ate far too much turkey.  My uncle made awesome artichoke heart snackies that I thoroughly enjoyed. (Recipe to be stolen soon.) Then PG and I capitalized on the multi-home dessert factor and had pie and goodies at both houses.

 

Phil also finally gave me "Thanksgiving Secret."  I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before but Phil has been hanging this secret over my head like a one dangles a carrot for a donkey...for months and months.  He loves secrets, pranks, means to torture, and so this was no different.  He would constantly say, " Are you still wondering about 'Thanksgiving Secret?" Well hello, of course. So I finally got it! The first night home he made me cover my eyes and took me on a drive then unloaded the car and... He had taken me to a "special place" and had hid the clubhouse couch for a semester (his Dad had requested it be trashed) and taken it with us so we could sit and watch the view. He basically re-created one of our most special nights together this summer. So romantic. I think I died. I'll give you a moment to recover from nausea.

Black friday was a success! We went out with my Grandma and mom and tore up the stores. Unfortunately it was a selfish success and I still have all my gift giving goodies to find.  Nonetheless girl time and shopping, especially competitive sale shopping always makes for a good time.

Friday night (?) we went to the MV vs SR game. Totally fun slash creepy to be back on campus. MV lost. Don't want to elaborate.

I got to reunite with lifetime friend and extreme partner in crime Randena Michelle and her amazing husband Chad.  Chad, Ran, PG and I are a terror together. We were laughing and chatting like there was no tomorrow.  I miss them already (Christmas in 2 wks!).

We also went into the city with Brett, Kylie, Tara C. and Tara's friend Kristen. It was quite the party.  So nice to see the bay. I still hold by the belief that it home really is the most beautiful place on the face of the earth. 

After the city we headed up in the Oakland hills to hang out/meet PG's friends from high school.  (When I was in high school I would tease Phil about going to "hippy school" or "fake school"... that was before I went to "hippy fake college" and graduated an organic peace loving hippy myself) I LOVED the high school friends. Reminded me so much of Carnegie peoples, driven, creative, sky's the limit attitude...had such a great time with them.

On saturday morning we cut down our christmas tree (ok "we" is very generous... Phil cut down half of it).  So fun.  We ate yummy popcorn and sucked in the smell of Christmas tree goodness to our hearts content.  

What a week.  I couldn't have dreamed of better...maybe longer, but not better. Family dinners, baby holding, friend visiting, tree cutting, Phil time galore.... Perfection. 

Again every time I get to see Phil I hate us being apart more. Next time maybe I'll just hand cuff myself to his side, or go on an "I'm not leaving hunger strike," although we all know that's not happening with all the Christmacookies coming soon...not to mention Christmabirthdaycake. I need to get creative...

At the Tree cutting

 The girl cousins (cept Kristi. we missed you!) Tara Aubrey Brianna Courtney

PG and I after he took down the tree