KILLER COUNTDOWN

Patience is a virtue I'm working on...

Can we please discuss how revolting it is that I actually WANT to go to provo right now? Have I been drugged?!  I know I know it has its charms...but I'm a California girl. Isn't that we do...rag on Utah?

BOSSY PHIL MCBOSSYPANTS won't let me post the countdown to UtahMAS yet because he is a mean task master and he says that It's bad to post an incomplete list. We battled over this for a good five minutes (aka we were cracking up arguing) and I even threatened to insert some juicy gossip into the blog to try to get my way...but I totally folded. That's love. Good thing I'm nice.

our combined age is...12?

We're down to day three today. I don't know what todays is yet BUT I can't wait for "a partridge in a pear tree" aka its friday and I'm FINALLY seeing Phil.

OH! And I WILL be flying in costume! Word to the wise: I myself am not flying southwest (sadly I LOVE THOSE PEOPLE) but if you do fly SW on Halloween in costume you get a free drink...shirley temple?? worth. it.

IN OTHER NEWS: The show is over and I'm back to realizing the looniness of my life. (Oh my gosh looniness is a legitimate word says spell check. makes.my.day.)  So much is going on and I think Christmas will be that breath of fresh air (or chilly air) I really need. Have you ever felt like life took a 180 and all of the sudden you're upside down? (I'm imagining and hoping you just said "yes" so I can feel some blog support.) Life is amazing and fantastic all the same though and I'm so thankful for everything right now...ok maybe not for the creaking sound my fan is making...almost everything then...wait...ok...I turned it off so yes...everything...great.

Right now I'm loving these things:

1. hummus: I am obsessed with hummus.  It's an incredible snack.  I gorge on it and I definitely buy the party-sized container all for myself.

2. sephora's nail colors by OPI: Did these just happen? I'm not sure...I've lost my shopaholic status as of late but I just went into the make-up mecca and the colors are sooooo purdy.  There's a purply-pink one I would sell a kidney for.

3. Larabars: Find them at Whole Foods. They taste like various baked goods and yumminess...made from raw fruit and nuts. I am NUTS about them! (Oh that's just shameful...why don't I stop myself?)

4. taking baths: see last post.

5. blogstalking everyone: Seriously what comprised my pre-blog life?  I love stalking you all. WRITE MORE.

6. fall: It's pretty weak down here but when I feel a crisp breeze I try to close my eyes and pretend it's the real deal.  I even went to sbucks and got a caramel apple cider to help with the whole fall-illusion.

7. the cast of Orpheus: I love you.  Yesterday we struck the set and it was such a riot.  I think I could've been persuaded to labor longer just to hang out with everyone.

8. facebook video message: SOMEONE TEACH ME HOW TO DO THIS.  I'm totally fascinated with the fact that you can now post vid clips on fb. Do any of you know how I can do this? 

9. museums: I've never fully blogged about my huge love for museums...but It's been a lifelong romance.  My parents used to take us religiously.  My dad and I went to Houston's museum of fine art this weekend while he was here for the show and I had such a great time.  I think I need to go back and soak it in a little more. They had a really great collection (I mean what do I know but they had some big name works, gorgeous pieces, a wide variety of genres...AND AN   EGYPTOLOGY SECTION! I think I just outed my nerd status.) and the building itself was beautifully set out with high reaching ceilings and a feeling of space and calm.

10. hope

Who suggested my costume be an airplane? Unfortunately this one doesn't come in my size.

SCRUB a dub dub

I've fallen head over heels in love with my bathtub. We are very involved. Shh don't tell!

My apt. is circa some time between 1920ish (when the main house was built) and 1940(ish...im not a history major folks). This means I have no garbage disposal (GROSS. It's like camping all the time scraping dishes), no dishwasher (pity me)...BUT I have a nice deep wonderful bathtub and in the past week it has been a dreaaaaam to sink into it.  I think I'm actually becoming a bath-addict, I mean there's worse things, right?  In fact I think bathing is kind of a lost tradition that needs revival.  We're all running around taking ten minute showers before zipping somewhere else.  Bathing is high art and I love it.  I recommend everyone taking 30 minutes out of life to get nice, relaxed, and raisiny this week. It's GLORIOUS.

life in the underworld!

This weekend we're FINALLY putting up Orpheus in the Underworld a satirical operetta spoofing the tragic tale of Orpheus and Eurydice.

I play Venus. Goddess of LOVE.

The show is a circus of crazy antics. To give you an idea here are some things included in our production of ORPHEUS IN THE UNDERWORLD:

1. man in fly costume (not superfly...actual fly. wings, goggles, furry cap the whole deal)

2. man riding industrial vacuum cleaner

3. can can dancers in towels and towel turbans

4. marilyn monroe and elvis get ups

5. trap door and elevator to the big H-E-double hockey sticks

6. Gong smashing (this is one of my jobs. It's a work out.)

7. surf board riding

8. balloon animal making

9. dancing police women

10. singing, sleeping, rioting, and barbeque...ing.

Everything went really well tonight. The audience was a treat. Now I have five times the amount of energy I need at midnight (performance high) and I still haven't taken out my hair or scraped off my crusty pancake makeup.

Before I do both of those things...or turn into a pumpkin (the clock is striking 12!) here are some pictures hot off the press (ie my trusty camera). ENJOY.

GODESSES

some Greeks

Just me...and the bathroom? I can't explain.

Ladies in the Dressing room

This is Jack. ie Pluto. ie the devil. ie elvis...Have I made clear the madness of this show??

AUBREYMAGEDDON

Between tonight and Hurricane Ike I'm starting to feel like the end of the world is expressly following me around...Narcissistic? ok...YES. True? Quite possible.

Why Aubrey? Why?! What happened tonight??!! (That's your part. If you feel like putting your acting hat on you can say it out loud for fun.)

Well friends romans and countrymen...tonight I MISS Aubrey Alise O'Connor was in a FLASH FLOOD.  Thats right folks. A flipping flash flood. 

Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.

Tonight was my off night (and the last dress rehearsal) so I was singing chorus in Orpheus as Flora, Goddess of Flowers (aka I wear a big hot pink toga, awesome drag queen-esque makeup, and a flower child wreath).  It was your usual night, the show went swimmingly and then it was time for notes.  For those of you who haven't been in a show notes are akin to going to the dentist to get teeth pulled. Why Aubrey why is it akin to teeth pulling? (That's you again, thanks for participating.) Well class that's because after giving every drop of your life force to make a show entertaining it is DRAINING to sit and listen to things like "please do your five second quick change in four seconds." ok ok so I LOVE it....even the obnoxiousness of notes...

Anyhow where was I? You were telling us about the flash flood! (you again bloggerazzi) OH YES! the flash flood.

So whilst getting our notes we started to see lightning through the lobby windows.  No big deal, it's the south right? That's what I thought. Well, I went back to change out of my get up and then skipped along to the exit. 

I swung the door open and saw...WATERWORLD.  I have never seen rain quite like it. This girl was just standing under the overhang next to me with her mouth wide open. 

Luckily I ran into a friend who had an itty bitty magenta umbrella and we ran to my car as fast as we could.... Of course I couldn't find my car at first (please refer to previously mentioned losing experiences) and by the time we got there my pants were drenched and my shoes were BUCKETS. I drove him to his car and thought to myself that the worst was over.

Now after all of these weather wonders, I thought for some genius reason that it would be a perfect night to drive home through the ghetto.  (There are two routes to get to and from my school. One is the freeway. The other is the Dirty of the Dirty South. I have seen people on that road who look like they came straight from Reno 911. We can call it "little watts" for tonight's purposes.) 

SO I'm driving through little watts and I'm starting to notice more and more water around my car. First just an inch then two then three and soon its splashing around me. I was Dorothy and I was no longer in Kansas my friends.

I began to see cars giving out on the road and so I followed some far wiser person onto higher ground.  (Totally begs for church talk analogy status. YES!) I then proceeded to sit in this grassy lot with many other stranded car friends for an hour (hour and a half? Time stood still. I don't know.) as I watched the Nile river pass by. It was at least knee deep.  Also...I WAS STARVING, like mouth watering at the thought of food.  Thankfully I had my cell phone and was entertained by many callers. Lynds called to check up on me and said that the waves had come down the street at her all at once out of nowhere like a stampede of horses or something.

Finally as the water started to subside just a bit I took a leap of faith and drove my car into a not so little puddle that stood between me and the road that was starting to clear up. I MADE IT! hooray! ...and drove home so thankfully.

The wise man built his house upon the rock...but I'm starting to think that rock was nowhere near Houston. 

sunday sundae

It's sunday and what a tiring one it was. I didn't get to go to church (spiritual nugget here) because I had rehearsal for thirty thousand million hours.  The show's going really well so that's fancy (I'm using "fancy" only because Phil hates it and thinks only hicks use it as a common adjective. Is this true?) 

My costume for the show makes me look like the angel Gabriel and I'm supposed to be the saucy Goddess of Love Venus...this may be changing. Venus is usually depicted naked with an apple so I'm sure we can find a happy medium between nudey patooty and gigantic white pillowcase outfit of ugliness that smells like old people. 

Also today I lost my keys...and then miracle of miracles it came to me. I had left them out in the grass and they were still sitting there just where I had plopped them when I ran frantically to the lawn. I am the miss universe of losing things.

Oh! and PG and I are making a 12 days of Utahmas countdown for my visit.  We are changing all of the christmas gifts to utah-ish things. I started with "twelve teased hairded ladies" he gets eleven then I do ten and so on.  I'm mad because he gets "five golden rings" which a. is the most fun part of the song to sing and b. it just begs for a polygamist joke with the whole five rings thing. 

I'm thinking that is all. I need a blogworthy event.

TAG'D

for the Graffiti type of tagging...

I've been tagged by RANDI! 

Here goes it:

I am: unique.

I have: the most incredible family.

I am: an idealist.

I think: about my great grandmas a lot lately.

I know: stage left from stage right.

I want: to burn all of my clothes and start over again.

I dislike: stupidity.

I miss: Phil every minute of every day.

I fear: things when I forget I'm not alone.

I feel: like I'm the luckiest girl on the planet.

I smell: like OFF! bugspray and burt's bees lotion. I'm wondering if they negate each other.

I crave: Italy and all of it's foodie glory.

I cry: at Church, at commercials, at uplifting life moments, at heart-wrenching moments, at Oprah moments. I am a faucet. 

I usually: smile.

I search: for answers.

I wonder: what my kids will be like.

I regret: not taking more classes at cmu. Then again...I wouldn't trade hanging out on the cut for anything.

I love: my global family and I'm always amazed at all the beautiful things they're doing.

I care: about SKINcare.

I always: enjoy a good awkward moment.

I worry: too much.

I am not: a cold weather girl.

I remember: singing "oh what a beautiful morning" in the kindergarten talent show.

I believe: there's a patch of good in every one.

I dance: in my room as if I were in Footloose and I just want to break free and start a dance revolution.

I don't always: have an answer.

I argue: only when necessary. or crabby.

I write: thank you notes like a proper lady.

I Win: at Gestures.  

I Lose: my keys and my phone a few times a week and it sends me into hysterics.

I Wish: Enchanted would go to Broadway and Disney would hire me as Giselle. 

I Listen: music. all. of. the. time.

I Don't Understand: math. at all. or budgeting. I keep receipts just to feel adult...then I throw them away.

I Can Usually Be Found: in rehearsal.

I Am Scared: of cockroaches. 

I Need: more allowance yo-da-lay-hee-whoo ( thats for all ye DOUG fans)...but really. I NEED A JOB.

I Forget: what color my hair really is.

I Am: learning.

I tag NIsha, LIVliv, and MS. Glennon!

one more for the road!

I just can't stop myself...

YESSSSSSSSSS!!!! PG the KARATE KID!

wax on wax off. KARATE PICS HERE!

This is our phamous Phil G in some phantastic photoshopped art.

SO. the story is...When Prince Philip was in China he bought a tai chi outfit. I think he thought it more ninja like and that was the true appeal. Anywhoooo...He took this picture. And it just BEGGED to be photoshopped.

here's the original. (HIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)

and now the doctored ones. ( who knew karate-phil has been to so many important landmarks...and in his "karate-klothes" no less???) Feel free to make any one of them your screen saver, share them with family friends, take them to show and tell, set them as your phone back drop, print them onto a t-shirt, feature them on your Christmas card, tattoo them onto your limbs.

 

blogged out.

What shall I blog about?

I blog and talk and think too much about Phil. (LESS THAN THREE WEEKS TILL MY VISIT!) So I asked Phil himself to tell me what I should blog about instead (after he wouldn't let me post pictures I photoshopped of him...ok so they're semi embarrassing. Maybe If you all beg enough he'll break down and let me) He didn't give me ANY good ideas. So....I think I'll just pick something....

TARGET!

1.Target is my second love so I think its a blogworthy topic.

2.Target is like church. you always leave with more than you expected AND you give them ten percent of your earnings.

3.I love the Target sign.  It's always shining there in the distance, beckoning.

4.I love getting lost in the cosmetics and skin care aisles.  I am obsessed with not getting wrinkles...anyone working on non-surgical solutions to aging I salute you.  I hope to be the first woman to NOT age...or at least the dead sexiest old lady possible.dream BIG.

5.my little sister Tara used to call it "Tara-get" because she'd always get something when we went there

6. Their signature color is red. That makes them sassy. I like sassy.

7. If the world was ending I might seriously consider living in Target. I would eat blue slurpees and popcorn. I would sleep in a tent with a memory foam mattress and paint my nails every day to pass the time.

8. I love the scrap booking/craft aisles at Target. Sometimes I go and stand and stare (for literally 15 minutes) thinking about all of the wonderful crafty projects I could do...usually this ends with me buying hair products instead.

9. People are generally happy in Target,  as people are when they are mindlessly purchasing underpriced unnecessaries.

10. When you feel high class I suggest pronouncing it the frenchie way,"Tar-jay"  J'aime Target.

PG thinks I could be a spokeswoman for the big red store. I think so too. I don't know what all that would entail but I'm sure I could negotiate some free hot dogs and shoes into the contract...maybe they'd even give me that ugly-cute dog. HIRE ME?

ART IMITATING LIFE... FOLLOWING DREAMS.

Fozzie: Hey, why don't you join us? 

Gonzo: Where are you going? 

Fozzie:We're following our dream! 

Gonzo: Really? I have a dream, too! 

Fozzie: Oh? 

Gonzo: But you'll think it's stupid. 

Fozzie:No we won't! Tell us, tell us!

Right now I'm learning about following dreams. I feel like Gonzo.  Sometimes telling people your true dreams is hard.  Following your dreams can be frightening, often it requires of you great changes and bravery in making those changes reality. President Monson talked in conference about distinguishing what is important and what is not, and about not letting those important things pass you by.  He quoted the music man (my dad's favorite. I've seen it SO many times) "you pile up enough tomorrows and you'll find you've collected a lot of empty yesterdays."  You have to live life today. And you have to follow your heart. NOW. not tomorrow. I just hope everyones as nice as fozzie about the whole thing...because once your heart tells you something, you better follow it.